I wasn’t going to go.
I didn’t want to go. Which may sound utterly ridiculous because HELLO…. I’m literally getting paid to travel to a beautiful tropical resort for my dream job.
And, I honestly have never struggled so much with going on a work trip before. Or any trip.
I love my husband.
I love my kids.
I want to be with them.
I just opened The Content Creator’s Collective, and have MUCH work to focus on in these first months.
It made zero sense for me to fly 3000 miles away for a week to a retreat in Mexico. I could have easily turned this job down (Well… maybe not exactly easily with Jaime O’Connor convincing me to come 😜) But because I would trust her with my very life, I listened and made the leap.
Many tears were shed in the weeks and days before I left. I almost allowed my anxiety to consume me and hold me back from what ended up being a life altering experience.
The details of the capital T trauma I have experienced over the past year are for another post, but suffice it to say….. it’s been A LOT. And because it was a constant beating down of one event after another, I was literally unable to process or feel any of it while it was happening.
Eventually, my body and mind shut down.
Some days it felt like my brain just didn’t work. Even simple words were difficult to find at times.
I felt confused and overwhelmed constantly.
My physical health was declining. Severe migraines, chronic pain, major hormonal imbalances and fatigue so extreme that walking up the stairs felt hard at times, have all been plaguing me, compounding the problem.
I wasn’t able to work for most of last year, and took a huge financial hit. (Ps…. Your worth and value as a business owner is NOT tied to how much money you make or have.)
Why Am I Sharing This With You?
Because I want you to know that if you are struggling too, you are not alone.
Have you noticed this is a theme for me?
So often when we face hardships as business owners that result in a huge financial hit to our business, we feel shame. Like we are failures because we don’t have that shiny $XYZ figure biz that everyone loves bragging about.
Once I landed, I knew I made the right decision.
My body, soul, and mind needed a break.
A chance to get back to my old self and just BE.
In my experience, nothing compares to the transformational power of a retreat.
And Flourish Baja was no exception.
A group of (mostly) strangers coming together, to shed what no longer served us and allowing ourselves to open up to new possibilities, hopes, and dreams for our lives.
A time to find healing, sometimes in the most unexpected ways.
We laughed, we danced, we certainly cried, we made soul connections with each other that will carry on well beyond the confines of our time together at the retreat.
This time away was exactly what I needed to come back to ME. To remember and honor all of the triumphs and hardships that have brought me to where I am today.
And to move forward as the TOTAL BADASS that I am. In life, in business, in motherhood, and in love.
Ps…. The magical unicorn who brought us all together deserves her own post. So watch out for that in the next few days!
Wanna see more of the magic that was Flourish Retreat? Check out my Insta HERE!